Dear Dumb Guy: I have heard several people mention something called “Rosebud,” and they use it in such a way to suggest that it’s some kind of secret they can’t reveal. What is it? - Curious in Connecticut

Dear Connecticut: First of all: SPOILER ALERT! In the course of answering your question, I’m about to give away the ending of a cinema classic. Read on if you dare.

Dear Dumb Guy: My boyfriend says he wants to do something called a “Cleveland Steamer,” but he won’t tell me what that is. I’m more than a little apprehensive. Should I be? - Not a Prude in Pennsylvania

Dear Prude: No worries! It’s just refreshing to see that romance is alive and well. First, a little history: The Cleveland Steamers were that city’s major-league baseball franchise in the 1940s and 1950s. They weren’t particularly good, but one of their players was – Buffy McJohns, who was not only an outstanding center-fielder but a guy with a huge public persona.

McJohns couldn’t go anywhere without a flock of lovely ladies on each arm, that was his way. Rugged and good-looking in the old style, McJohns appealed equally to men and women alike. He was a hopeless romantic, and showered all of the women in his life with flowers, gifts and a gateway to the good life.

Today, the “Cleveland Steamer” remains a euphemism for treating a lady right – whether that means a night at the movies and walk under the stars or just pitching in around the house to help with the kids, the cleaning and the laundry.

So don’t worry, Prude – tell your man to steam away. And have fun!

Dear Dumb Guy: My new puppy is hyperactive, and can’t sit still for even a moment. Is there anything I can do about this? - New Mom in Minnesota

Dear Minnesota: I went through the exact same thing you’re going through now, just a few years ago. And when I say “exact same thing,” I really mean the exact same thing, except it was a pot-bellied pig and he was incontinent. Same thing.

Anyways, here’s what I discovered, so write this in your book and underline it: Dogs love the music of John Tesh. Something about his composition, his keyboard tones, his tempos … dogs find it irresistible. They’ll sit and stare at the speakers for hours, calm and happy as if everything was right in the world.

(Please note that Tesh is the crucial part of this, not New Age music in general. Yanni or Kitaro will cause most dogs to crap on the couch.)

Dear Dumb Guy: What’s the proper way to pronounce “baguette”? Is it bag-ETTE or BAG-ette? - Crusty in Chicago

Dear Chicago: Neither one is correct; in fact, most people mispronounce this word. It is actually four syllables, with an r-sound that isn’t in the spelling. Proper pronunciation is bag-ARR-dee-ette.

Dear Dumb Guy: I tivoed the new “Knight Rider” movie the other night. Before I watch it, is there anything I need to know about the original? - Psyched in Philly

Dear Philly: Let me tell you this first and foremost: Knight Rider kicks everybody right square in the ass. If you’ve got an ass, consider it kicked. KITT rules!

Okay, the backstory. KITT is the talking car, and it was built by the Knight Foundation, which was formed by a rich old dude in response to these monstrous alien ships appearing in the sky all around the world. They were big, round, silver things, and there were aliens on them who said they came in peace.

Well, this Knight dude didn’t quite buy it, so he started working on the car. Turns out he was right to do so, because the aliens were actually lizards who were here to eat us. Their home world had run out of food – something about a moon exploding and throwing the weather all whack – and they look at Earth and say, “Hot damn … all you can eat!”

So anyway, the original “Knight Rider” was on the air four seasons, and was chiefly concerned with the talking car fighting the lizard aliens. From what I’ve seen of the new one, they don’t mention the aliens at all, which is pretty disappointing. I still hope that they’ll reference the famous “bombing a parking lot with frozen turkeys” scene from the original.