Dear Dumb Guy: I’ve been hearing a lot about something called Wolfram Alpha. What is it? - Googled out in Georgia

Dear Georgia: You’re right, there is a ton of buzz surrounding it – and rightfully so!

“Wolfram: Alpha” is the upcoming prequel to the recent movie “Wolverine,” and it’s gonna be the definitive origin story of the Marvel superhero. It’s currently being produced by Michael Bay.

SPOILER ALERT! I’ve seen an early draft of the script, and hardcore Wolverine fans are not gonna like it. Turns out James Howlett, later dubbed Logan, was born Jamie Howlett – a girl. She had a gender-change surgery at age 18 which went horribly wrong, and that’s why his/her bones are all metal and stuff. He over-compensates later in life by wearing a fake beard.

Told you you weren’t gonna like it! There’s also time travel, but none of that gets resolved until “Wolfram: Beta,” which is tentatively scheduled for 2012.