Dear Dumb Guy: Do you think that “Crush Velvet” is a good name for a metal/rock band? - Logan in Laramie

Dear Laramie: Well, it would be - if it wasn’t already taken! Crush Velvet was a pivotal band on the 1970’s Milwaukee punk scene. They had two successful U.S. tours with labelmates Agnostic Front and The Dypshytz, a period that is still considered the high-watermark of midwestern white-boy angst.

After that they “sold out” and switched their sound to down-tempo, then drum-and-bass, then grindcore, back to punk, back to down-tempo, then into a brief flirtation with reggae and dancehall, all before ending up in their current incarnation: a lounge band called The Shypdytz (featuring the lone surviving member of The Dypshytz).

Now, I’ll tell you what name isn’t taken - Crushed Velveeta! That’s a sweet-ass rock band name if ever I heard one!