Dear Dumb Guy: I tivoed the new “Knight Rider” movie the other night. Before I watch it, is there anything I need to know about the original? - Psyched in Philly

Dear Philly: Let me tell you this first and foremost: Knight Rider kicks everybody right square in the ass. If you’ve got an ass, consider it kicked. KITT rules!

Okay, the backstory. KITT is the talking car, and it was built by the Knight Foundation, which was formed by a rich old dude in response to these monstrous alien ships appearing in the sky all around the world. They were big, round, silver things, and there were aliens on them who said they came in peace.

Well, this Knight dude didn’t quite buy it, so he started working on the car. Turns out he was right to do so, because the aliens were actually lizards who were here to eat us. Their home world had run out of food - something about a moon exploding and throwing the weather all whack - and they look at Earth and say, “Hot damn … all you can eat!”

So anyway, the original “Knight Rider” was on the air four seasons, and was chiefly concerned with the talking car fighting the lizard aliens. From what I’ve seen of the new one, they don’t mention the aliens at all, which is pretty disappointing. I still hope that they’ll reference the famous “bombing a parking lot with frozen turkeys” scene from the original.