Hide her nightgown!
Dear dumb guy: My aunt Helen has trouble sleeping at night. Is there anything I can suggest, short of prescription medicine or sleeping pills? - Concerned niece in Newport
Dear Newport: Your timing is superb, because just last night I stumbled upon the answer to this question, a question I hadn’t even thought to ask. I was at dinner with some friends – tearing it up, let me tell you! – and I came up with the single greatest culinary invention ever.
Think about this. What are the two best foods in the world? Fried chicken and cake. Damn straight, no room for argument. Fried chicken and cake. Now, let’s take it a step further and analyze those two things.
- What’s so great about fried chicken? The breading.
- What’s so great about cake? The frosting.
I think you see where I’m going. If you take the two best constituent parts of the two greatest foods in the world – chicken breading and cake frosting – and put them together … God help us, you’ve got the single greatest thing in the world you can eat. Frosted chicken skin. Who’s your daddy? I am!
So anyway, about your aunt Helen … maybe get her to eat some frosted chicken skin before bed each night? Hell, I don’t know. I’ve never even met your aunt Helen. You wanna know what I do to fall asleep at night? I hit the gym and shred my delts. Maybe Helen could try that?
Giant frosted donut! « Comically Large Things said...
[...] Donuts are the best. And I love cake too, but mainly because of the frosting. You know how the old tobacco executives secretly referred to smokes as a “nicotine delivery system”? Well, to me, cake is just a frosting delivery system. Which is why it surprises me to find that I’ve never thought of this … frosting a donut! Sheer genius! And of course, it’s only one small step from that to this. [...]
September 24th, 2007